i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
