I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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