The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
