Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
