Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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