is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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