The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize