Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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