Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
