That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
