question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
