There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize