I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
one might say we're banned from that church
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
