you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
