tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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