mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
