just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
