Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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