hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
