so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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