Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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