I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
