the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
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