You smell like stripper and shame
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
