he wants to bone in the snuggie
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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