I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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