two words: eviction party
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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