Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
