no, he came in my armpit
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize