this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
