oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
