Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Randomize
