I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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