And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
His nipple licking is glorious
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