Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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