i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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