If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
