he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
