Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You were trust falling into bushes
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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