I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
