Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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