I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
