My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize