you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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