soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
