It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
