Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
