I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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