Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
