Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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