Fuck appropriateness.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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