CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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