Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He passed out mid-signature
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
