You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
