I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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