she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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