I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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