The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
