i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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