***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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