and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
